I put a lot of my own quotes and thoughts up on my facebook page for the Black Sheep Princess. One of the topic areas that seem to be the most popular is when I put up statuses about toxic people. I take that to mean we all have toxic people in our life. What seems to be the most difficult to get a handle on is how to deal with these people in our lives. And wow, that is a weighty topic indeed.
I think toxic people come in all shapes and sizes. They can range from mild, medium, and extra severely toxic. Thing is, we all know them. Those people that just seem to create drama wherever they are. Those that seem to have a negativity around them ALL the time. Whatever shape or size your toxic person is, what is usually in common is that even though you may dearly love this person, you just don’t feel good when you’ve spent time in their presence. And how sad is that? And I’m not talking about you, but them. I mean, you were only in their presence for a short time. They have no escape. At least, no escape they are interested in taking.
I’d like to get more in depth on this topic in the future, but I wanted to limit this post to this truth: Don’t feel bad or guilty for getting away from toxic people. And that goes for toxic people who are family too.
Everyone has crap that happens in their life. We’ve all had to face some type of negative circumstances, abuse, neglect, and those things that life just throws our way. Toxic people just have never decided to turn their lemons into lemonade. And you know what? That is totally their choice to make. 100% hands down their choice to make. It’s their life and they can do what they want with it. To tell your toxic person that they can’t make that choice is just you deciding to become manipulative and controlling yourself. So don’t go there. It’s their life. Let them do what they choose to do with it. It’s not any of our business.
But you know what IS your business? What you do with YOUR life. And you get the same freedom to make your own decisions and choices. So may I humbly suggest that you utilize that freedom and get away from toxic people. When people decide to take a toxic path, you don’t have to stand right next to them and witness every second of it. You have every right to respect their choice and make your own choice and take your life on a different path.
It is totally okay for you to set boundaries for your life, to set limits on your influences, and for you to make choices about your values and to run after those things. If people around you, yes, even family, are so toxic, that being around them is going to deter you from living your life, having your values, and going after your dreams, then by all means, set boundaries and limit your time around these people.
Well, it’s family, you say. So what? When does being family give someone a right to treat you in such a way? I say because people are family, the standards should be set higher. If you’re family, you should be getting better treatment than the general public. At the very least, family should have enough respect to agree to disagree and recognize that every member of the family is entitled to the privilege and basic human right of choosing their own path in life.
All in all, you can’t control what other people do, and it’s not your job to fix other people or judge their choices. But you have 100% say about you. You have authority over you. You answer for you. So don’t worry about other people, even toxic people. If, in order to reach your destination, you have to let go of those who are headed for a different destination, then so be it. Let them go. It’s OK. You’re not bad or being mean. Take lead of your life and sail where your heart tells you. Reaching the destination that you are called to is something you surely won’t regret. ❤